Author: David Ashworth

The 11th station of the cross is: Criminals speak to Jesus. Our reading today is from the book of Luke, chapter 23:

Luke 23:32 Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. 33 And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. 34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. 35 And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!” 36 The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine 37 and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” 38 There was also an inscription over him, “This is the King of the Jews.”  39 One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” 40 But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” 42 And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” 43 And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

In considering the thieves on the cross on either side of Jesus, we must place ourselves there.  We don’t imagine ourselves there.  We don’t understand the death sentence over our lives as tied to something we have done.  How could we be thieves?

As we consider our lives, we often see more of what’s been done to us, but we don’t imagine having done anything wrong.  We don’t see ourselves as thieves.  In short, we don’t see our sin.  However, if we could be honest, the cross and its existence is the greatest testimony to our sin.  There’s no need for the cross if there is no sin, but yet it exists.

The two thieves also represent the choice we make regarding the Gospel.  Two men who know they are dying have different responses to Jesus.  One mocks Jesus, while the other humbles himself before Jesus and the outcome is much different because this thief knows that paradise is next for him.

In the end, this is our story.  We are dying, a little more every day.  We can call out to the blameless one and ask if He would remember us, though we rightly deserve death.  What we learn is that it’s never too late and there’s nothing we could have ever done to cause Jesus to deny our request.  

Yes, we are thieves, but He is a Savior.  It is by His love and mercy that the Savior makes us thieves no more.

²⁶ And as they led him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross, to carry it behind Jesus. – Luke 23:26

The eighth station of the cross is that Simon helps carry the cross of Christ. There is very little said about Simon in the Gospels except for this verse, that he was chosen to carry the cross. There is much room for speculation on why this happened, and why Luke recorded specifically that Simon carried the cross behind Jesus. What we do know about Simon is that he came from a region of northern Africa and that his two sons, which are mentioned by name in the scripture, were later recorded as being missionaries for the cause of Christ in church tradition. Simon himself is considered to be one of the first bishops in the catholic tradition and is recorded to have died a martyr for Christ via crucifixion around 100 AD.

One of the most blatant pictures that this station paints for us as believers, is the significance of Jesus’s words to take up our cross and follow Him if we want to be His disciple. While we don’t know the exact reason Simon was chosen from the crowd, it was certainly not an expected moment. He was in Jerusalem with his sons to celebrate the feast of the Passover, and now caught in the crowd surrounding Jesus as He carried His cross to Golgotha, Simon was grabbed out of the crowd and told to shoulder the cross. There are no specifics on why someone was pulled from the crowd to carry the cross but Matthew Henry suggests that it was because the Roman soldiers saw Jesus about to die from the burden of carrying the cross and they were so worried that He wouldn’t actually make it to be crucified and what this might mean for their own lives.

In our lives, we never know when the moment might come that we are called to something that is painful to us but is perfectly in the will of God. Part of trusting in the sovereignty of God is knowing that God is in full control over everything that happens.

¹¹ In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, – Ephesians 1:11

At times God’s will for our lives may be painful, it may be difficult, it may even seem like we cannot physically take any more, but understanding God’s goodness, and His love, allows us to lean on Him through it all, and submit wholly to His will and His will alone. What happens may not make sense to us right now, but someday when God’s plan unfolds we will understand. Jesus showed up perfect submission to the Father’s will, in His path to the cross. We are called to shoulder our cross and follow behind His example in perfect submission to the will of the Father for He is good!

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! – Psalm 118:1

Father, as we continue following the path Your own Son walked to the cross, I pray that we can follow His example. Lord that when trials come and we experience both the good and the bad in our lives, that we can point to You and say that You are sovereign and we place our trust in You alone. That You lift us up and strengthen us through Your spirit and that we submit wholly and completely to Your will alone. That we gladly bear the cross and follow after Christ. We love You and thank You for Your goodness, Your mercy, and Your kindness to each of us. In the name of Jesus. Amen

27 ¹ When morning came, all the chief priests and the elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death. ² And they bound him and led him away and delivered him over to Pilate the governor…

²² Pilate said to them, “Then what shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?” They all said, “Let him be crucified!” ²³ And he said, “Why? What evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Let him be crucified!” ²⁴ So when Pilate saw that he was gaining nothing, but rather that a riot was beginning, he took water and washed his hands before the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood;^[a] see to it yourselves.” ²⁵ And all the people answered, “His blood be on us and on our children!” ²⁶ Then he released for them Barabbas, and having scourged^[b] Jesus, delivered him to be crucified. – Matthew 27:1-2, 22-26

The fifth station of the cross is Pilate condemning Jesus to die via crucifixion. Jesus is brought before Pilate because at this time it was unlawful for the Jewish rulers to condemn someone to death, especially the death of crucifixion. Pilate questioned Jesus regarding the charges against Him and Jesus remained mostly silent. Pilate’s wife sent word that she had dreamed that Jesus was innocent and for Pilate to have nothing to do with the death of this man. The innocence of Christ was known by Pilate, but the people shouted for Jesus to be crucified. Pilate used the ceremony to wash his hands and declare himself innocent of placing an innocent man to death. In a final attempt, Pilate offered to release either Jesus, or Barabbas, a murderer, and thief, yet the people shouted for the true criminal to be released to them and for Jesus to be crucified.

Crucifixion is considered one of the worse forms of torture and execution. It was reserved during Roman times for the worst of criminals. In Jewish law, it stated that any person that died on a tree (crucified) was cursed. Not only did this method of death involve the most extreme pain but it had spiritual significance in Jewish law as well. Pilate questioned Jesus yet Jesus stayed mostly silent. He could have called angels to deliver Him from this at any time, He could have defended Himself to Pilate, but He remained silent in submission to the will of the Father. This was the path that must be walked. This was the will of the Father. Instead of acknowledging Jesus as the long-awaited Messiah, the savior that Israel had been waiting on for so many years, the Jewish people condemned their savior to death and traded Him for a criminal.

I can’t help but see this reflected even today in our own personal lives and walks. How often do we fail to acknowledge the Lordship of Christ in our lives and instead search after sinful abominations to feed our flesh? How often do we fail in submitting ourselves to God’s will and argue and shout to receive what our wicked hearts desire? How often does Jesus stand silent as we accuse Him? Yet, He loves us and waits for us, and forgives us our failures and shortcomings. How great is the love of Christ for us!

Father, Your son was rejected and condemned to die a horrible death by the very people that He came to save. By the very ones that You chose to call Your own. Father work in our hearts. Turn our hearts of stone into hearts that are tender to Your Spirit’s words. That we do not seek after our own desires and our own wicked ways but that we cry out for Christ and Him alone. Lord let our hearts cry always be for Christ and Your Word, that we never reject the truths You have revealed to us and that we never reject the calling and promises You have made for us. Let us cling to You and You alone in all things. In the saving name of Jesus. Amen

³⁹ And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. ⁴⁰ And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” ⁴¹ And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, ⁴² saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” ⁴³ And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. ⁴⁴ And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.  ⁴⁵ And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, ⁴⁶ and he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.” – Luke 22:39-46

The first station of the cross is when Jesus prays to the Father in the garden of Gethsemane or the Mount of Olives. When Jesus prays here in the garden, He makes clear He knows what is going to happen. He knows that prophecy must be fulfilled. At this greatest time of temptation and agony, He was left alone by the disciples, and while they slept, He prayed. The submission of the Son to His Father is shown. If there was any other way for God’s justice to be satisfied Jesus prayed that He would not have to endure the trials of the cross, but through it all, with the knowledge of what was to come, Jesus prayed that His will would not be done but that the Father’s will would be done. The agony and the stress were so great that the Bible records that Jesus sweat great drops of blood. This is not a literary license by the writer, but a legitimate medical condition called Hematohidrosis. This is caused by an amount of stress so great that it causes the blood vessels close to the skin to burst and blood to come out as sweat through the pores of the skin. This shows us that Christ’s prayer was a true cry to the Father that there would be a different way to save us. Despite all of this, Jesus shows true submission to the will and plan of the Father.

The disciples are nearby but are “sleeping for sorrow.” Jesus had told them that He would die and though they had realized that this was the long-awaited messiah, they still did not understand that Christ would be raised again. The amount of spiritual warfare going on at this time in the garden is unimaginable. This is why Christ tells the disciples twice to rise and pray that they don’t enter into temptation. The original temptation that caused man to fall into sin was in a garden many years prior, and now the final temptation was once again in a garden where the very souls of men were being fought for.

We must understand that Jesus was God made flesh here on earth. He is the 2^nd member of the Holy Trinity and He was both fully God and fully man at the same time. He had a man nature that He had to still war against and He had the power to attempt to defy the Fathers will. Isaiah tells us how the messiah would be treated.

He was despised and rejected by men,
    a man of sorrows  and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
    he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Isaiah 53:3 ESV)

The perfect one who knew no sin, submitted to the Fathers will and took a punishment He never deserved, even to the death. God’s justice required death for sin but as through one man, Adam, man sinned and was sentenced to death and hell, only through the perfect man, Jesus Christ, was man able to be saved from this punishment. This is the beauty of Holy Week. We walk this week through the ultimate sacrifice that could ever be given. The example live out of “No greater love.” 

Jesus, we thank You for Your sacrifice for us. That even before time began You knew that man would fall and that You would step forward and satisfy the wrath of God against Your chosen people. That we would no longer be sentenced to death and eternity in Hell separate from You, but that now because of Your great sacrifice, You have redeemed us and washed us in Your blood and You have gone to prepare a place for us. We are no longer slaves to sin and death, but we are free to live in the perfect will of the Father. I pray that Your Spirit leads and guides that in all things at all times we submit to the will of the Father. In the precious name of Jesus. Amen

As we begin our celebration of Holy Week with Palm Sunday today, it is important to recognize and know the historical and spiritual significance. One of the pilgrimages that many Christians still do today, is to go to Jerusalem and retrace the path of Christ from Pilate’s house to Golgotha where He was crucified. This path is known as the via Delarosa or way of sorrow. The stations of the cross are along this path and currently have 14 stops from Christ being condemned to death, to His body being laid in the tomb. This pilgrimage is replicated in the liturgical practice of the church.

 

Many times, these stations will be represented in protestant churches by places around the church at which to pray, meditate, and remember the path to the cross that Christ took for us. The protestant church bases these stations strictly on biblical accounts. They are;

1. Jesus Prays Alone
2. Jesus is Arrested
3. The Sanhedrin Tries Jesus
4. Pilate Tries Jesus
5. Pilate Condemns Jesus to Die
6. Jesus Wears the Crown of Thorns
7. Jesus Carries His Cross
8. Simon Helps Carry the Cross
9. Jesus Speaks to the Women
10. Jesus Is Nailed to the Cross
11. Criminals Speak to Jesus
12. Jesus Cares for His Mother
13. Jesus Dies on the Cross
14. Jesus is Laid in the Tomb

Often, we rush so quickly to celebrate the resurrection and the triumph of Christ over death and sin, that we ignore the importance of recognizing and contemplating the path to this victory. Throughout scripture, God reminds His people to remember where they have come from and the places that God brought them out from. They are called to set up altars and remembrances in places to remind them of what God did for them. “It is in this mode of remembering, of re-presenting the events of the past as part of a living story that has not yet ended, a story in which we still participate, that the events become more than dates and places. They become markers of a journey as those who were no people become a people (Ex 6:7, 1 Peter 2:10), as those who grope awkwardly in the darkness come into the light of God’s presence (Isa 9:2, John 8:12), as those who were far off draw ever nearer to God and his grace.” (http://www.crivoice.org/stations.html)

“Beyond all the dogmas and the sentimentalism associated with the Cross, finally it is about faithfulness, servanthood, the commitment of One to another that will not abandon that commitment even when rejected. In a real sense, the cross is about the power of love, the commitment of God to humanity, the faithfulness and grace of God that knows no limits and will yield to no boundary, that will risk even death itself for the sake of new life.” (http://www.crivoice.org/stations.html)

As believers, we want to use this week, as we celebrate Christ’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem, to His death, burial, and on Sunday His resurrection, to remember and be grateful for the path that Jesus walked for each of us. Every night this week a devotion will be posted on one of the stations of the cross. On Saturday we will have another video posted to close out the devotions for holy week and on Sunday we will come together and celebrate a risen Savior who has redeemed us from the hands of the enemy. Let’s all spend time in prayer, meditation on scripture, and study of scripture this week as we remember with gratitude what God has done for us. Wednesday night we will have a special service for Holy Wednesday, and we hope you can join us then for a time of prayer, worship, and communion.

“Come, and see the victories of the cross. Christ’s wounds are thy healings, His agonies thy repose, His conflicts thy conquests, His groans thy songs, His pains thine ease, His shame thy glory, His death thy life, His sufferings thy salvation.” – Matthew Henry

One of the important aspects of the Christian life is understanding Christian History and where our faith has gone and come from over the years since Christ walked this earth. “Church history is the story of the Christian community and its relationship to the rest of the world throughout the ages…Church history shows us how the Gospel message can be embedded in culture in our own time.” (Dr. Gordan Isaac) With this, while we don’t hold sainthood to humans as the traditional Roman Catholic Church does, it is important that we know the history of so many that were instrumental in the advancement of Jesus Christ to all nations and tongues.

Patrick was born Maewyn Succat to wealthy parents in Britain near the end of the fourth century. At the age of 16, Patrick was captured by a group of Irish raiders and brought to Ireland to be a slave. During his 6 years of slavery, Patrick worked as a shepherd and turned to his religious upbringing to bring comfort and peace. After 6 years of captivity, Patrick was able to escape, walking nearly 200 miles to the Irish coast, and returning to Britain. 

Upon Patrick’s return to Britain he began to study to become a priest, After more than 15 years of study, Patrick was ordained as a priest. Patrick had previously claimed an angel came to him in a dream, telling him to return to Ireland as a missionary. The church agreed to return him to Ireland and he returned both to minister to the Christians already living in Ireland, and to convert the Irish people.

Patrick spent his life proclaiming the Gospel to the very people that had enslaved him during his younger years. In this, we can see the power of love and forgiveness that can only come from Jesus. His explanation and simplification of the trinity through the use of a 3 leaf clover is probably one of his most known examples. Each leaf was taught to represent each member of the trinity showing they are 3 separate leaves but part of one central branch.

After 40 years of living in Ireland and working tirelessly to spread the Gospel to the Celts, “Patrick died on March 17, 461 in Saul, where he had built his first church.” (History.com)

As we see people around the world celebrate St Patrick’s Day, we can celebrate and rejoice in the life of a man that gave up the riches and wealth of his station in life, and returned to the country that enslaved him, to share the love of Christ. Through this, we see the spread of Christianity to the pagan’s of Ireland and how great God’s grace is to use whosoever will follow His command to go and preach the Gospel to all!

Works Referenced:

• https://www.history.com/topics/st-patricks-day/who-was-saint-patrick
• http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1972553_1972551_1972451,00.html
• https://www.tenontours.com/shamrocks-and-four-leaf-clovers-whats-the-difference/#:~:text=While%20trying%20to%20convert%20the,we%20get%20the%20luck%20from.
• https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/saint-patrick-dies#:~:text=He%20arrived%20in%20Ireland%20in,had%20built%20his%20first%20church.

As much as this is a devotion, this is a pouring out of what’s been on my heart lately regarding the Church, capital “C” and where our country is at.  This is not about politics or presidents or news, but about who the church should be.

Often what happens more than not is that Christians shake their head at culture for being cultural yet neglecting the idea that we are to be influencers of it.  However, it’s not what the church has been.  From as far back as I can remember, by large, church has been about attending a service, listening, receiving, and returning back to our lives.  This mentality has progressed over years, and church has found a way to be even more entertaining and convenient as we extend this mentality.  All of this while we imagine that culture has lost its mind.  I’ve asked myself recently if we’ve looked in the mirror lately.

As a church, we went through the Truth Project that was put on by Focus on the Family, and Os Guiness made a statement that haunts me.  He basically said that Christians have maybe 10, 15, or 20 years before culture passes the point of no return.  The shocking moment for me was that the content had been released in 2006.  In 2021, we hit the 15-year mark.  If Os Guiness is correct, there are a handful of years left before we hit the point of no return.

When I look at his warning for the church to impact culture and I trace our digression from 2006 to now, his words seem to be on point with our current cultural conditions.  I don’t say this as an accusation, but as a burden.  We can separate the church from the world in how we live, but we cannot separate the two in our concern.  We can’t because Jesus didn’t.  Even though His people and His culture had drifted from God, Jesus comes to save anyone who would listen, and we see His concern spread in the book of Acts through the end of the New Testament in Revelation.

There is no complete answer that can be given in one short message in how to respond, but the remedy I believe, still lies within the church.  It will lie within believers who find a church home where they choose to give their lives away for the Gospel.  It will take parents willing to disciple their children in the ways of God despite what their college professor says.  It will take all believers striving for biblical literacy in a biblically illiterate age.  It’s going to cost us something.  It will cost time, our talents, and maybe our lives.  We are going to have to let go of all the distractions that have no meaning for the only thing that matters.  We are going to have to go out, share truth and live like the Gospel of Jesus is worth our lives. 

In my opinion, the church hasn’t looked like this in a long time.

I leave you with my burden.  If you have only a few years left before culture falls over the edge, what should you be doing?  What sense of urgency should you have?  We should be praying for revival with all of our hearts.  No more entre church where you go to the place that serves you best.  Where do you go to pour yourself out for every person God will place in your path?  What if the point of no return is sooner than you think?  This has been my awakening.  Is it yours?

Blessing is not what we see from TV evangelists or self-help gurus disguised as pastors.  Blessing is much deeper than what we make it today.  We limit blessing to physical benefit, but it wasn’t always this way.

John Ortberg makes a great statement about blessing:

“Blessing in the ancient world was the highest form of well-being possible for human beings. The Greeks referred to the blissful existence of the gods as “blessed.” For Israel, blessing included not just gifts from God but especially life with God. Blessing would include all areas of Abram’s life: his family, his finances, his work, and his heart. That meant he wasn’t just to receive a blessing; he was to be a blessing. In fact, it is impossible to be blessed in the highest sense apart from becoming a blessing.” ~ John Ortberg

It’s only a modern idea that blessing is tied around our agenda and our benefit.  Blessing is much deeper than this.  This is greater than positivity or momentary circumstance.  Living life basing your blessing will only leave you with a schizophrenic mentality of blessing where sometimes you are blessed but others you are not.  With “blessing schizophrenia,” people believe God goes back and forth on how He thinks of them.  Sometimes they are blessed, but other times they are not.  It’s just not true.

The true foundation of being blessed is found in the presence of God and the favor of God over your life.  If blessing was considered by generations past as the highest form of living, maybe we lost the perspective of real blessing, where it came from, and what it implied as culture became more secular.

Blessing comes from a real relationship with God marked by obedience.  But please understand something:  God is not obligated to bless you because of your obedience.  He blesses you when He chooses to and blessing is a natural byproduct of His presence.  Your obedience merely draws you there.

At the end, how we see our life matters.  We live much more secular lives than we know.  I shared this with my congregation a few weeks ago as to how we have been secularized.  The word “goodbye” has changed over the centuries, but here is how it was originally spelled:

“godbwye”

It is a contracted word written in old English meaning, “God be with you.”  Over the years, “God” became “good” and “bwye” became bye.  We have lost the piety even in our farewells.

Maybe it’s time to recognize what we have lost.  Maybe rather than saying “hi” or “bye,” maybe we return to the idea of blessing each other and not just wishing them well, but rather wishing those we love God’s best… God’s blessing. 

In the New Testament, the Bible declares that we are a Kingdom of priests and maybe as priests, we should wish God’s best to all we love.  Maybe if blessing is the highest form of living, maybe we should live like we desire blessing from God over anything else.  With this, I end with a blessing for you, hoping you would bless me as well:

Numbers 6:24 The Lord bless you and keep you; 25 the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; 26 the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

The weatherman finally got it right, and it snowed.  Not only did it snow, but it also sleeted, then snowed, then freezing rain, then back to snow.  ALL WEEK LONG.  Because of the early warning, we were able to prepare for a true Tennessee-style blizzard.  While we were getting ready for the storm, I couldn’t help myself from singing “Be Prepared” from the movie The Lion King.  Scar singing to his minions about his evil plans and selfish desires to rule and be king.  As I sing this song (in my head), we chopped wood, dug the generator out, filled it with gas, and loaded the chainsaw into the truck.  We were prepared and ready for the winter storm.

Not only did I have The Lion King song stuck in my head, but I also remembered the parable Jesus said about the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-13).  Five of the virgins were ready to meet the bridegroom. They came prepared with extra oil for their lamps. The other five were not ready. They left to buy more oil which caused them to miss the bridegroom.  When they tried to go to the wedding feast, the door was closed.  They knocked and asked to come in, but they were refused entry because he did not know them.  The five unprepared virgins missed their opportunity.

After receiving the warning for inclement weather, everyone rushed to the grocery store to buy eggs, milk, and bread. The mad rush to prepare for the upcoming storm created a panic emptying all the shelves in the store.  Why haven’t we taken the warnings from God this seriously? Some people procrastinated in stocking up their groceries for the storm. They had to drive in hazardous conditions to get the things they need. Just as these people waited, so do many others, waiting to do what God commands. Remember the five virgins who waited and arrived late?  Do you want Jesus to say “I never knew you”? We are not promised tomorrow.   Paul tells us to stay awake and be sober “…having put on the breastplate of faith and love and the helmet of hope and salvation” (1Thessalonians 5:6-8).

Like the five virgins who came prepared, we must keep our lamps full by living each day for the Lord.  We will not know the day or the hour of His return (Matthew 24:36).  Jesus tells us to stay dressed for action and keep our lamps burning, waiting for our master to come home (Luke 12:35-36).  We start preparing ourselves by reading the Bible. In doing this, we stay dressed, awake, and ready.  We continue to prepare by praying, asking for forgiveness, and showing love to one another. 

Warned by God, Noah constructed an ark for the saving of his household (Hebrews 11:7), so must we be prepared.  The Bible helps us prepare for the warnings God has given to us.  The time will come when we will stand before Jesus.  What if that day was today? Would you be ready?  We should live our lives preparing for Jesus’s return. What a glorious day it will be when we hear Jesus say instead “… Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23) and welcomes us into His kingdom. Go prepare. What are you waiting for?

Being a new mom is one of the most rewarding and hardest things I have ever done in my life. While pregnant, I was so excited but incredibly nervous because having a child is a HUGE step in anyone’s life. We had prayed and prayed and prayed even more for this child, so we knew that God was in control of ALL of this. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. -Psalm 139:13-14

Every day I thank the Lord for blessing our lives with our baby. I couldn’t even imagine life without him now. However, right after having him, I went through postpartum depression and it still affects me somewhat. 

During that time, I was constantly praying to God. I felt so overwhelmed like I couldn’t do it, and because I didn’t know what the heck, I was doing I felt like I wasn’t a good mother. I felt like crying, breaking down, and dropping to my knees in exhaustion. But in those moments, I could feel the Lord calming me, telling me… Yes, you can do this, I got you, just breathe, I am here with you. 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

He blessed me with a child. He chose me to be the mother of this wonderful child. Nobody said it would be easy. We will have our ups and downs and good days and bad days through learning to parent and raise a child. God is with us through it all. God is in our hearts; we should continually trust in Him because He is always there no matter what. Every time I look at my child’s face, I just smile knowing that God is so good. 

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song and he has become my salvation. – Isaiah 12:2